Lessons Learned from My Comprehensive Exam

I recently passed the comprehensive examination for my PhD in Theological Studies. The moment of elation is gone now, replaced by the anticipation of the approval of my dissertation prospectus and the official beginning of the biggest writing project I have ever taken on.

What is a comprehensive exam?

For those unaware, American doctoral programs are different from those in Europe and other nations. Since we are box checkers, Americans tend to like discernible benchmarks and quantifiable progress checks.

We, therefore, have seminars or courses for our doctoral programs. (There are certainly exceptions to this with American programs that use a more typically European model, but I will generalize for the sake of simplicity). This allows a neatly compartmentalized program of study with easy to measure milestones.

At the end of coursework comes an exam. At some point every student says to himself, “This is the last test I’m ever going to take.” In reality that just isn’t so. At least not on this side of the Atlantic. We keep testing until there’s nothing left to test.

Southeastern's version of the Exam

The comprehensive exam takes different forms at different schools. Often there are differences even among programs within the same school.

My exam consisted of two parts: a written section and an oral section.

The written portion of the exam was six hours long with four essay questions. Two of the questions were two hours long and the others were one hour long. I sat at a computer in a little conference room one day a few weeks ago and wrote for six hours on one day with a one hour break for lunch.

After spending four years in the program, six hours seems like too little to demonstrate mastery of my subject. However, at several points during the day of typing my hands queried me if we weren’t done yet and could we have a break. In fact, due to the poor ergonomic arrangement of the computer (the chair is low, the desk is high, and the keyboard continually slides away from the tester) I lost feeling in my left hand and could only type with a finger until blood flow returned and normal typing could resume.

At the end of the day I produced about 14,000 words and my eyes were a little blurry. However, I survived.

The oral examination

Then began the waiting. My oral exam was scheduled for a little over a week after my written exam to allow time for the committee to grade the written product. I spent that hoping that what I wrote was cogent, if not complete in nature.

About a week later, it was time for the second portion of the exam. This consists of three faculty whose expertise is related to your subject matter asking questions about points from your written examination and looking for holes in your knowledge.

Like any good oral examination, this portion of the comprehensive exam is designed to find weak areas, to explore the extent of your understanding, and to see how you react when you don’t know the answer. After all, there is no way for a student to know more about every possible rabbit trail in a subject than the three examiners.

The interview process in this exam is challenging, but it is generally a collegial experience. The examiners are looking to test, but not destroy your confidence. By the time you get to that point, if there is a question about your overall competence it should have surfaced on the written portion of the exam.

One of the difficulties with the oral portion of the exam is discerning what question is being asked. It is much easier (though by no means easy) to write out a question that gets at what you want to know. In the oral exam it is sometimes a challenge to understand what the interviewer is looking for.

In any event, I survived. I am thankful for that. Now I just have to write a dissertation. No big deal, right?

Some Lessons Learned

1. Begin preparing for your comprehensive exam from the first course you take. Some of my notes were helpful, some could have been more helpful. I found that even inadequate notes from earlier seminars jogged my memory and helped me study.
    
2. Read broadly during your course of study. My subject matter is narrowly Christian ethics, I benefited significantly from reading deeply in that field. However, I was asked a question about value theory, too. Fortunately I was in the midst of a book on the subject and could address this tangential question with alacrity. Additionally, I benefited from the numerous books I read that did not apply directly to my subject area. They provided illustrations during my oral exam and moments where I wasn’t searching for specific factual information. Also, reading broadly is just fun.
    
3. Practice the written exam. One of the most helpful things I did was create a series of written questions and practice writing essays in response. None of the essay questions exactly matched my anticipated formulations, but the process of both inventing potential questions and writing structured responses in a timed environment helped me find my own weaknesses and sharpen my arguments.
    
4. Scope out your committee. Here at Southeastern, I work closely with the three examiners on my committee. Therefore it was fairly easy to figure out the trajectory of potential follow up questions. I also tracked down recent syllabi and course offerings from the committee so that I could see what they might have been lecturing on or reading with a class most recently. As a result, I picked up a book on virtue ethics (a favorite topic with one of the committee members) and read it the week before the exam. That came in handy.
    
5. Try to schedule the exam to your advantage. I intentionally worked to schedule my exam for the period shortly after the spring semester ended. Why? Because that is the period of time when the committee has graded a large volume of papers, turned in their grades, and is longing to get on with their summer activities. As tired as I was from preparation for the exam, the committee was tired from the end of semester flurry of activities. This presents a strategic advantage for the examinee, since you are more likely to get the benefit of the doubt in grading. Note: Don’t tell anyone in advance that this is why you are trying to schedule your exam at a particular time.
   
6. Take the exam. Many of my peers seem to live in fear of the comprehensive exam. I will attest to the fact it is a stressful event and should not be treated lightly. On the other hand, sometimes students tend to be perfectionists and work too hard to learn everything before the exam. News flash: You can’t know everything. Work hard, prepare well, take the exam before you feel completely ready. There will always be more books and articles to read. Everyone knows this. In the words of Larry the Cable Guy, “Get ‘er done.”

Wildlife in the Kingdom Come

If there is one thing most theologians are in need of it is a good laugh. After hours of poring over the sometimes terrible writing and convoluted thoughts of people we are generally in disagreement with, a little levity would seem to be a welcome thing.

I was pleased to be introduced to an old, humorous book a few months ago by Bruce Ashford. He credits Paige Patterson with bringing him to the font of amusement. Personally, I don’t care how it got to me. I just think it’s funny.

The book is Wildlife in the Kingdom Come: An Explorer Looks at the Critters and Creatures of the Theological Kingdom. It was written (and illustrated) by Ken C. Johnson and John H. Coe. Cast your memory back to the 1980’s and you may remember seeing Ken Johnson’s name as the creator and writer of McGee and Me! Or, more recently, from his work with Adventures in Odyssey. John H. Coe is actually a trained theologian who is at Biola and, amazingly, actually lists this book on his faculty page.

Wildlife in the Kingdom Come contains several dozen brief discussions of theological movements or elements of theology and a representative drawing. It is very tongue in cheek. It also leaves no theological movement protected, making fun of theologians of every stripe. The footnotes are humorous, too, citing authors such as Clark P. Nock and R. C. Sprawl.

Most of the humor is not highbrow. It relies on puns, caricatures and stereotypes. Of course, if the punchlines were too sophisticated it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to read. Who wants to work to get a chortle, anyway?

Some Quotes

I’ll give five quotes to provide a taste of the book:

“Long ago in an age when the primitive shores of the Textual Critic Coastlands were forming, a fierce and tyrannical giant roamed the earth, the terrible Textus Receptus (TR). Rising from the Erasmus Manuscript Marshes, the TR ruled these lands particularly during the Jurassic Era of King James.”

“Anyone wishing to explore the theological kingdom will inevitably encounter the Problem Passage. This terrifying creature roams the Theological Hillsides and creates extremely difficult going for the would-be traveler. By positioning himself stubbornly on the explorer’s path, the Problem Passage impeded any attempt to forge a trail toward a complete theological system.”

“In the heartland of the Teaching Timberlands that border the Pulpit Prairies thrives the ever-stoic and staunch Expository Sermon. Though less daunting and spirited than his cousin, the Topical Sermon, this meticulous creature is an instinctive digger and a study in discipline.”

“Many centuries ago zealous (and at times, unbalanced) expeditions sought to rid the Great Primitivchuch Plains of a dreaded and poisonous parasite, the Heretic. Found throughout the theological lands, the Heretic is most fond of feeding off helpless hers of Unorthodox and Neoorthodox whose diet lacks any substantial dosages of doctrine of theological presuppositions. Although small and difficult to detect at first, the bite of this malicious little pest can have devastating results. As infection forms around the bite, schism and dissension spread throughout the body of the helpless victims. This condition ultimately gives way to such fatal diseases as Arianism, Modalism, Universalism, and the Ten-Percent Tithe.”

“By far the most beautiful and colorful of all the birds in the Moral Highgrounds is the proud Pelagian. This reigning king of pomp and splendor typically spreads his impeccably plumage for all to see. His feathered feat is usually an unabashed attempt to attract as many admirers as his flock can carry. So impressive is the sight that some have suggested that his brilliant display has a blinding affect [sic]  on the admirers of this unfallen fowl.”

Conclusion

The list goes on. There are pages of these punny quips and sidelong theological references throughout. As a student of theology, I have guffawed, wheezed, snorted, and cackled at some of the jokes. My family things I’m crazy anyway, so that makes no difference.

The biggest downside of this book is that it is out of print. However, I still commend it because there are relatively inexpensive copies available used through Amazon. Trust me, theological friends, this is worth your money. It’s a skinny book, too, so it won’t be that much more weight the next time you move.

Wildlife in the Kingdom Come: An Explorer Looks at the Critters and Creatures of the Theological Kingdom

By Ken C. Johnson, John H. Coe

Buy on Amazon

Lewis, Tolkien and the Shadow of Evil - A Review

If you’re like me, finding a grocery list written by J.R.R. Tolkien or C.S. Lewis would be a treat and make for enthralling reading. Therefore, I suppose it comes as little surprise that I enjoyed the recent book by Colin Duriez, Bedeviled: Lewis, Tolkien and the Shadow of Evil.

This book is a literary analysis that traces the theme of evil through the major works of both men, weaving through Middle Earth, Narnia and more. As an expert in the study of the Inklings, the informal club of scholars Tolkien and Lewis belonged to, Duriez demonstrates mastery of both the literature and the history of the two men.

Summary

The book is divided evenly into two parts. Part 1 focuses on the influence of the wars on the perception of evil. Although Tolkien resisted reading his works allegorically, there can be little down that his experience in World War I was influential in his work. The same is true for Lewis. The horrors of World War I, which both men experienced firsthand, including life in the trenches and being wounded, could not help but increase their understanding of suffering. This particularly since the so-called War to End All Wars was senseless in its cause and its manner.

Part Two deals with the intersection between good and evil. In particular, Duriez maps out ways that goodness overcomes sin and temptation, leads to change, and shines through with joy despite the pain of the present world. These themes are apparent in Tolkien’s Leaf by Niggle and literature of Middle Earth. They are also constantly brought to mind in most of Lewis’ works.

Analysis

Considering just the two most famous fictional works of both men, The Lord of the Rings and the seven part Chronicles of Narnia, there is a progression from a fallen state toward heavenly redemption in both works. In fact, by including all of Tolkien’s Middle Earth works and taking the Narnia sequence in chronological order with The Magician’s Nephew at the beginning, the movement through the pattern of creation, fall, and redemption is quite obvious.

What Duriez makes clear in his analysis is that there is a true, biblical notion of good and evil behind the fictional webs created by two Oxford dons. In fact, both the Roman Catholic, Tolkien, and his Anglo-Catholic friend, Lewis, were rather Augustinian in their approach to evil. That is, evil was not a thing in and of itself, it was the deprivation of goodness. This is most clearly seen in Tolkien’s descriptions of orc as twisted elves, and not a new creation. Evil is inherently non-creative, it mocks by copying but it does not make.

This perception of evil, then, shapes the way the two men view the proper response to evil. Both men questioned the widespread bombing of civilians during World War II because the optimal response to evil is not to destroy it, but to reform it. And, as they both show in their literature, there is hope for redemption. Evil will one day be beaten back and the good will win.

One of the more helpful aspects of Duriez’s book is his work on The Great Divorce. Lewis’ account of the journey of some people from Hell to Heaven often leads to questions about Lewis’ view of the eternal state and the possibility for redemption after death. Duriez helps to resist that criticism as he points out that it was not Lewis’ intention to create a work of theology that represents the way things will be after death. Rather in The Great Divorce Lewis is delving into the human psyche to show how strong the tentacles of sin are wrapped around the self, keeping people from accepting redemption even when it can be seen in its fullness.

Duriez shows how both authors presented an accurate image of the world and pointed people toward faith and hope instead of despair. The work of Lewis and Tolkien continues to be popular largely because of the realism behind the fantasy, which culminates in the eschatological victory of good over evil. Their stories, and Lewis’ apologetic work, point toward something that is great, gracious and desirable.

Conclusion

This is an enjoyable piece of scholarship. Duriez’ love for the subject comes through in every page and his vibrant prose make reading this a real joy for those that are fans of the Inklings. For those that are literary minded, this would be a good way to be introduced to or deepen appreciation for two of the greatest English authors of the Twentieth Century. For those less interested in literary analysis, this is still an enjoyable read because so much of what Tolkien and Lewis wrote about still helps to explain the human condition in our contemporary times.

Bedeviled: Lewis, Tolkien and the Shadow of Evil

$12.49

By Colin Duriez

Buy on Amazon

Note: A gratis copy of this volume was provided by the publisher with no expectation of a positive review.

Editor's Note: This post has been modified to note the concerns of Aaron Earls (@wardrobedoor) about whether the chronological reading of the Chronicles of Narnia is, in fact, in accordance with Lewis' preference. His discussion of the concept can be found here: http://ow.ly/NSPh7 

Trevin Wax (@TrevinWax) has previously addressed the order of reading as well: http://ow.ly/NSPh7 

Guy on a Buffalo

Sometimes the internet is the bane of human existence, demonstrating how low we as a race have stooped. Meme's relating to the defense of Brittany Spears' public breakdowns, grumpy cat pictures, and defiant babies keep our social media news-feeds full. The occasional misquote of Abraham Lincoln gets thrown in just to keep us on our toes.

Still, there have been few items of high culture shared with the internet population. Of those few items of high brow culture, there are none to rival the "Guy on a Buffalo" videos that came out a few years ago.

I've embedded each of the five videos below for your viewing pleasure. Also, this makes for a quick way to find them again in the future. They are really worth watching repeatedly, much like fine movies such as "The Princess Bride" and "The Three Amigos." I might throw "Goonies" into that mix, too, though something really was lost when the octopus scene didn't make it through the final cut.

In any case, if you missed Guy on a Buffalo years ago I will explain the basic premise to you. First, there is a guy who rides a buffalo. Then a folksy singer provides a musical narration of the events in the short videos. Guy on a Buffalo gets chased by a bear, chases a bear, finds a baby, wrestles a cougar and such like.

I've heard these are authentic videos from early nineteenth century American frontier life, which truly represent how things were. They are, according to some, authentic representations of historical realities known only to some that are experiencing lasting effects of 1970's drug usage. (cough, cough)

Whatever your understanding of their historicity, I hope you find these videos entertaining and will share them with your friends. As a caution, don't consume any beverages while watching these videos, unless you are prepared to have it come out your nose.

The gripping first episode of "Guy on A Buffalo." The "guy" battles a bear and a mean-spirited Indian (Native American). Original music and narration by Jomo. http://www.thepossumposse.com EPISODE 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Lmkm5EF5E Get the NEW game for iPhone! https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/guy-on-a-magic-buffalo/id872395169?mt=8 Get the Soundboard App for iPhone! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/buffalo-sounds-guy-on-buffalo/id471049475?mt=8 Video and story adapted from the now-residing-in-the-public-domain film from 1978 - Buffalo Rider.

The highly anticipated second episode of "Guy on A Buffalo." The "guy" discovers a human and tag-teams some predators with the buffalo. Original music and narration by Jomo. http://www.thepossumposse.com EPISODE 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L55dKrjxcCY Get the NEW game for iPhone! https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/guy-on-a-magic-buffalo/id872395169?mt=8 Get the Soundboard App for iPhone!

The moving and slightly aggressively-anticipated 3rd episode of "Guy On A Buffalo." The "guy" discovers and trains the buffalo and encounters some buffalo hunters. Original music and narration by Jomo of The Possum Posse. http://www.thepossumposse.com EPISODE 4:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXtpNm_a4Us Get the NEW game for iPhone! https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/guy-on-a-magic-buffalo/id872395169?mt=8 Get the Soundboard App for iPhone!

The moving, extended final episode of "Guy on A Buffalo." The "guy" battles a mean case of gunshot wound, and exacts revenge on various people who have tried to kill him. Original music and narration by Jomo. http://www.thepossumposse.com Get the NEW game for iPhone! https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/guy-on-a-magic-buffalo/id872395169?mt=8 Get the Soundboard App for iPhone!

Contrary to my tongue in cheek comments above, these edited videos with the humorous songs over the top are made from a 1978 movie called "Buffalo Rider." The premise that a man rescues a buffalo that was going to be eaten by coyotes, raises it and tames it. The movie has, apparently, passed into the public domain. It has made its way to the Internet Archive, a repository for much of our cultural sludge.

The movie itself is poorly made, relies on a narrator, and appears to have actually harmed animals in the making. (This last is really not a good thing.) That being said, the movie is made and I post it here more so you can see where the humorous videos above came from than with hope that anyone will celebrate anything about the original film (which is awful based on the 15 minutes that I was able to watch). 

Here is a link to the original movie at the Internet Archive.

Memorial Day

According to many, today is the beginning of the summer season. It marks the time when many people break out white shoes, begin grilling in earnest, and generally celebrate the changing seasons. For many people, the most significant thing about this weekend is that they get an extra day off.

For Memorial Day, by Storm Crypt. Used by CC license: http://ow.ly/NmW3Y

That isn’t the point of Memorial Day. The holiday was originally invented as Decoration Day, a day to honor the many dead of the American Civil War by decorating their graves. After the devastation of Work War I, it was renamed Memorial Day and was shifted to honoring all American dead from all wars.

 This is the point in Memorial Day. The point is honoring the sacrifice of those who died in the service of the country. Thus, “happy Memorial Day” is something that should not be said.

 In many churches, the Sunday before Memorial Day is a time where churches publicly honor those who have served. Often they restructure their services toward patriotic themes and some sort of recognition of the holiday. In general, I am not a fan of this approach because I think it lends itself to blending Christianity with our political loyalties and risks forming, or giving the impression of, a sort of civil religion. While I am not opposed to using a portion of the service in a prayer of gratitude, it would be hard to preach an expositional sermon that is truly patriotic in theme. Additionally, singing traditionally patriotic-themed songs in church tends to point people’s minds outward instead of upward. I think there are better ways we can be faithful citizens than incorporating such elements into our services.

 However, it is another thing for Christians to participate in Memorial Day services. In reality, we have much to be thankful for. Especially as we remember the men and women who have served our country and died in that service. Although our nation is far from perfect, we do still have freedom to gather for worship together and, for the most part, to live out the convictions of our religious beliefs. Additionally, we have a degree of physical safety even today because men and women have been willing to die in service of their country.

 In short, while some people go to Memorial Day services to honor the dead through a form of civil religion, it is entirely appropriate, in my mind, to go to a community gathering to express thanksgiving to the One True God for his faithfulness and provision through those who died in our nation’s service. This isn’t syncretism; it’s community. There will be parts of the ceremony that will be more or less consistent with my worldview, but that’s okay. This is not an expression of my faith in particular, but of community remembrance.

 Additionally, this is an opportunity to illustrate to our children the cost of war. Armed conflict isn’t just a game or an adventure. When there is discussion of sending troops in to stabilize a region or as retribution, we should recognize the hellish cost of war and think many times over, counting the cost. War is hell. War is always the result of someone’s sin. War costs many people everything they have in this life and even those that return home safely often pay a steep price.

Solemnizing this day publicly teaches children something important, and can instill a sense of the deep tragedy of human sin.

My disappointment this year is that there isn't a ceremony at the local veteran's memorial, but we'll probably pass that way anyway to pay our respects.

 I hope you have an enjoyable Memorial Day. May you be productive, get a nap, and take pleasure in having time with your family. However, I hope you also take some time to contemplate what exactly is being memorialized on this day. I also hope you will pray for the coming time when such days of memorial will be no more, when suffering is at an end.

Comprehensive Exams

Used by Creative Commons license from Alberto G. http://ow.ly/MZjw6 

Today I am taking my written comprehensive exams for the PhD at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. For this program it consists of six hours at a computer typing four essays on different topics.

However, this experience and the preparation for it (the most intense parts of which always get pushed later than they should) remind me of my comprehensive for Nuclear Power School.

 The experience of taking an exam that covered Chemistry, Material Science, Systems, Reactor Theory, and several other topics was nerve wracking for all of us at 21 or 22 years of age. It seemed to us, much like Harold Abrahams in Chariots of Fire, we had a short time to justify our existences.

 The pressures of comprehensive exams were apparent to many, which resulted in one of the few officially sanctioned jokes in Naval Nuclear Power. In one of the official publications of Naval Reactors, someone inserted a sample “final exam” from Nuclear Power School.

 This has bounced around the web, so I can’t promise this is word for word what is in the NRTB, but this is certainly representative.

 If you have four hours, go ahead and give the exam a try. Or, at least think of me today trying to summarize my knowledge of Christian Ethics in 6 short hours.

Final Exam - Naval Nuclear Power School

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to it probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicaea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high- powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio- political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

If you finish early turn your paper in at the table at the front of the room.

The Choir Member's Lexicon

As you probably know already there is nothing that a church choir is typically more in need of than tenors.  Second only to that is some knowledge of music.  We see the little booklet of black dots and lines in front of us every Sunday morning and Sunday afternoon, but all those symbols do is make neat boundaries around where the words are; that’s all we really use it for.

The previous paragraph isn't entirely true: some of the choir doesn't make it to both morning and afternoon sessions on Sunday.  For those that do, and those that are reading this who have some knowledge of music theory, you will forgive any typographical errors which may cause definitions of certain words to be expressed in ways that you are not familiar with, or cause definitions to appear to be factually incorrect.  Also, for the more rigid lexicographical purists, you will note that I have disposed with the usual alphabetical organization of things because I felt like it.  

As to my choice of words, I have chosen only the words most important for a Biblical understanding of church music: I have trimmed out all the fluff and developed what is a basic guide to choir membership.  Anyway, let’s begin...

A Flat – n. The reason that half the choir was late to the Easter cantata.

Crescendo – v. To increase the volume of one’s voice, e.g. What happens in the Soprano section when the choir director is working with the Baritones.

Bass – n. One of the group of men who couldn't be a Tenor. Synonym: general population. 

Soprano – 1.  n. Women who sing the top set of notes in choir music.  2. n. Choir members who can comfortably sing the Tenor line in a David Clydesdale piece.

“Okay, let’s try it again” – 1. Uh, Oh. 2. We’re singing this Sunday? 3. What else do we know that we could sing Sunday?

“This may not be your best gift” -  1. What the choir director tells you at auditions to encourage you in your children’s ministries. 2. A sign that a recording contract isn't in your future. 3. Even Carol Cymbala might not want you.

Alto – n. A popular brand of mints.

Fermatta – n. A soft Greek cheese usually associated with pitas.

A Natural – n. The note that is a step above the range of some Sopranos.

B Flat -   Colloquialism referring to the nature of the Tenors, i.e. “You B Flat.”

Solo – n. A section of music in which only one person miscounts the number of measures rest.

Decrescendo – v. What happens abruptly after a solo.

Duet – n. A solo for two people. See also: Solo.

Ad Lib – v. What the praise team does when the words get messed up on the projection screen.

Mass Confusion – n. Congregational Ad Lib.

Forte – 1. Adj. The median age of the altos. 2. Adj. Ten greater than the admitted median age of the altos.

Tenors – 1. n. The blessed ones. The elect. 2. Adj. The first half of the phrase indicating a value slightly greater than nine, i.e. What time did you go to bed?  I don’t know, tenor ‘leven.

Pianissimo -  n. The Italian word for Big Piano.

Mezzo Forte – Adj. The admitted age of the gray haired altos.  See Also: Forte.

Quarter Note – n. One of those little black dots we don’t look at anyway.

Baritones – n. Fence sitters. 

Mock Draft 1.0 for the Upcoming Pastor's Draft

The coverage of the 2015 NFL draft has taken over sports media. Who is the best player? Who will be drafted first? Which team will blow their future for a marginally better player in this year's draft? These are the pressing questions of the day.

However, a more significant question is out there. That is, who are the top prospects available for the 2015 Pastor's draft? In this post I'll take a modified "Big Board" approach to list my top prospects for this year, with commentary. I'll also stop at five, because that's about how long anyone might care.

1.    David Blakely is the top prospect on my Big Board this year. He’s an all-star student that can really bring the house down when he preaches. The best things about him are that he plays the guitar AND the organ, and he’s got experience as a church janitor because that's how he paid his way through seminary. He comes as a twofer, because his wife will get her MA in Biblical Counselling this Spring, and has spent the last six years working in early child education. She can bring home the bacon and run VBS, which makes this couple the top pick in this year’s pastoral draft. Blakely has no leadership experience, but that makes him ready to be controlled by a solid deacon board. He’s likely to go to Crick River Baptist, who finished at the bottom of their association last year after the volunteer Youth Leader and Pastor ran off together.

2. I think the next prospect off the board will be Eli Felluten, though it's not because of quality. Eli declared for the pastoral draft early by taking an MA instead of the MDiv. He says it’s so he can “get on mission” sooner, but sources say that it was the D- in Hebrew that scared him off biblical languages. At any rate, he’s likely to be off the board early because his name is Felluten and Felluten Baptist Church of Felluten, Alabama, which is in Felluten County, wants an Associate Pastor to serve under Reverend Elvis Felluten, who happens to be Eli’s Grand-daddy.

3. Philbert Dolittle is the near the top of the talent pool in this year's draft. He was a top student in each one of seminary classes and always produced when it came to paper time. Everyone remembers the Hermeneutics paper where he delivered the blow-out 35 page paper on the 15 page assignment. This guy has staying power. The downside is that he comes from a Calvinist system, so there are questions about what kind of scheme he will fit into and whether he can adjust to associational politics in Georgia or Louisiana. I think he's a solid first round pick, but his stock is likely to dip a little come draft day because of the "TULIP" tattoo on his right forearm and his mismatched socks. Though he's got the chops to be an every Sunday starter from day one, his stock may fall until he gets selected as a Youth Pastor at a large church, where his X-Box skills will serve him well, even if his overall talent is underutilized.

4. The next guy on my Big Board is Thaddeus Pig. Pig brings in the bacon at a meaty 302 pounds, 5 feet 7 inches. He has the physical characteristics of the average mid-career pastor, so he's way ahead of the game. Pig is also known to be a top performer at church potlucks. In fact, his numbers were off the charts in calorie consumption at the Combine.  This guy excels at the apt art of alliteration and avoids conflict like a treadmill, so he's a good fit for a number of small churches. His lack of theological awareness was a liability in seminary, but it will stand him in good stead when he gets into their pulpits. Look for this guy to go early and then disappear into the rural church system.

5. Julian Barnsworth is really the best prospect in this year's draft, but I've got him pegged at number five on my Big Board just because he's not likely to get much attention. When you watch the tape on Julian, he's got good delivery. This guy stands in the pulpit and reads the congregation well. He needs a little polish on his sermons, but the intangibles are there and I think he's the most pastor-ready of all the candidates. His theological accuracy is way beyond the rest of the field. However, since all the tape on this guy is in the practice setting and scrimmages--you know, class assignments--it's unlikely he gets picked in the first three rounds. You just can't get a job without experience, which makes it tough for guys like Julian who have families and can't take youth pastor positions. Julian is a second career pastoral candidate who spent ten years as an Electrical Engineer and Supervisor for a major corporation, which should be credited to him as experience, but it's likely churches will be concerned with how well his people skills will translate to the local church. This guy is a late round gem if he doesn't decide to pull out of the draft and get a PhD.

Editor's Note: For those that aren't aware, this is satire. Which, of course, means that it is probably more true to life than I choose to admit. Any likeness of names, descriptions, and personalities in this to anyone you know or have heard of is incidental, because when I wrote it I was going off of stereotypes and not individuals. Really.

How Do Views of the Environment Develop?

I've spent the last few years studying Christian approaches to environmental ethics. In the coming months (not years) I will write my doctoral dissertation examining how theological perspectives control people's view of the environment.

In the hundreds of books, articles, newsletters, and blogs I've read, not to mention the hours of video and audio I've submerged myself in, there are some consistent themes in both religious and Christian approaches.

When developing perspectives on the environment everyone has to answer four basic questions:

1. What are the sources of authoritative information for my perspective?
2. Why does nature/creation have value?
3. What role do humans have in caring for nature/creation?
4. What is the end goal of nature/creation?

For religious approaches, particularly Christianity, these four questions relate to the doctrines of revelation, creation, anthropology, and eschatology. Non-religious approaches have to answer the same sorts of questions, though they will respond with different vocabulary.

The differing response to these four questions helps to explain how different people with access to the same data can come up with vastly different ethical conclusions. Most of the time we argue about the conclusions, when the deeper issue is how we get to those ethical conclusions.

My understanding of this reality--that these four questions frame environmental ethics--was driven home by my post last week at The Gospel Coalition. The post explained why Christians can and should participate in Earth Day activities.

Some of the comments on the post made it evident that the people so anxious to voice their opinions publicly hadn't bothered to read the post. However, many of their responses demonstrated particular answers to these four questions.

Responding to Four Key Questions

As an evangelical Christian, my governing source of authority is Scripture. This is consistent with sola Scriptura, one of the five central concerns of the Reformers. However, I also take into account relevant scientific data (experience), theological tradition, and reason. These three aspects complete the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. They all help to form my theology, which in the end must be judged by Scripture.

Creation has value because God created it and inasmuch as it is fulfilling its purpose to glorify God. This keeps me from seeing the created order as merely of instrumental value, waiting to be harvested by humans. It also keeps me from  ascribing intrinsic value to creation, which would indicate creation has worth apart from God and may stand in the place of God as worthy of worship. This is more dangerous. Instead, creation has a purpose and should be respected and aided in fulfilling that purpose.

Some environmentalists treat humans as if they are an alien species and a scourge on the earth. This is unbiblical. Instead, we ought to see humans are a unique part of creation with responsibility to steward it. Stewardship implies the responsibility to care for and tend as a gardener, but not to use wantonly. Ultimately God owns creation (as he created it) and we will be held accountable for how we use it.

Finally, my reading of eschatology from Scripture sees a renewal of all creation at the end of time. God will do a mighty work to redeem all of Creation from the curse. This encourages a positive view toward working to preserve creation now, though not in an effort for repristination. This position stands in opposition to some Christian eschatologies that anticipate a cataclysmic annihilation and subsequent recreation of earth. It also opposes an evolutionary worldview that anticipates things will go on as they are now for the foreseeable future.

Summing Up

In the end, despite the mixed response to my post (even among those who seemed to read it), I stand behind my promotion of participation in Earth Day celebrations. I have several reason why:

First, it really is important to rightly steward creation for the theological reasons I listed above. We will be held accountable for how we care for the created order, so we ought to do it well.

Second, participating in Earth Day activities is no more a pagan rite than is going to a football game, singing the national anthem, and madly cheering for your team. Some people at the football game are actually participating in worship of their team or their country. That does not mean that every spectator is. Many of the folks at Earth Day events are secularists who would reject Gaia worship as foolishness, just like a Christian.

Third, some object to environmentalism because many environmental initiatives use centralized government planning and impinge on a free market. This is largely because free market advocates have abandoned the environment. The free market only works when people are internally, morally regulated. Big government is more necessary when people lack self control. This means that free market advocates (as I am) are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by rejecting environmental concern.

Fourth, events like Earth Day are usually filled with people that need the gospel. This should draw a faithful Christian like a light draws a moth. Seriously: People in community who are working together. If that isn't a great place to start a gospel conversation then there is no such thing.

People should act according to their conscience, illuminated by Scripture. However, I think reason should drive Christians toward more participation in common cause activities like Earth Day instead of fewer.

Jesus Outside the Lines - A Review

There are few things more wearying than the ongoing culture wars. Social media, traditional media formats, office conversations, and familial relationships are continually stretched and stressed by one of the many cultural crises that arises with what seems increasing frequency.

More significant for the Christian, however, is the impact that cultural conflict has on the ability to clearly relate the gospel to the lost. Sometimes the gospel gets upstaged by the latest bill in Congress or the most recent violent crime to hit the news.

Resisting cultural changes made in the name of “progress” that are bad for both the individual and common good is, at times, a necessary thing. I applaud the many men and women at front line organizations whose task it is to make an argument for the common good publicly. However, social media has tended to make every Christian a citizen soldier in the battle, or at least to allow every individual to feel as if they are engaged in the battle by sharing posts, making comments, and having lunchroom debates.

Eventually the flood of information and the urge to see one set of ideas triumph over another tends to bleed over into a desire to see one group of people triumph over another. It makes the division between factions deeper and communication of any ideas––including the gospel––exceedingly difficult.

Summary

Scott Sauls’ recent book, Jesus Outside the Lines: A Way Forward for Those Who are Tired of Taking Sides, is intended to mitigate the trend in polarization and move toward gospel reconciliation. As such, this book represents the beginning of a deep conversation that needs to happen in the gospel community whose ideas are increasingly demonized.

Sauls spends the first four chapters discussing the problem of Christian tribalism. He points out the sharp divide between Republican and Democrat Christians, such that sometimes there is an assumption made by political stickers of ones’ status inside or outside the family of God. Sauls then moves to discuss how differing views on some of the more polarizing issues can be maintained: concern for the unborn vs. concern for the poor; participation in Christian communities vs. personal, individualized faith; and the tendency toward loathing vs. loving money.

This section is challenging and thought provoking. I can’t say that I agree with all of Sauls’s conclusions, though I must say that this is in part because of the strength with which I hold my own positions on these issues. However, Sauls does try to show how someone can believe they are a faithful Christian and stand on either side of some of these issues. The benefit of this section is in driving the reader to consider how others might think, which is a first step toward communication.

The remaining six chapters focus on divisions between Christians and non-Christians. In some ways this is an easier task than accepting the strong differences of opinion between Christians. However, it is by no means simple. Sauls gives his thoughts on several aspects of this division.

Recognizing the power of positive words for building relationships, Sauls commends the practice of affirming points of agreement with non-Christians. This is a good start as there is often more common ground than we acknowledge and beginning with points of critique tends to build walls rather than tear them down. Relating to this, Sauls then touches on the importance of leading with compassion instead of judgment. He is not calling for compromise or ignoring gospel ethics, but realizing that sanctification must follow (not precede) conversion.

Sauls continues the section discussing various apologetic concerns that are commonly raised as accusations against Christianity. For instance, the need to continually progress in sanctification, while resisting the accusations by non-Christians of hypocrisy within in the church that is a sign of the need for growth in godliness not a false belief. Christians must also focus on rightly ordering sexuality rather than merely resisting certain forms of sexual expression. The Christian sexual ethic is focused on purity at all times, not banishing the favorite sins of the day. Similarly, Sauls touches on the reality that Christianity has a valid response for the problem of evil, looking forward to ultimate judgment and restoration in the eschaton. Finally, the need to find self-worth in Christ is addressed, which frees Christians to be properly oriented gospel-people.

The book concludes with some practical instructions for living outside the lines, including a list of ten significant practices for living as a Christian in a post-Christian culture. It has a great deal to do with patient faithfulness and compassion overcoming the urge to declaim and decry.

Analysis

This book is not the final word on any of the topics it discusses. It is, however, an important entry into the discussion.

As an ethicist who has studied arguments on both sides of many of the issues Sauls addresses, I have positions that are on one side or the other. That is unlikely to change, and really, Sauls is not asking for that to change. This is not a call to compromise on right belief.

Instead this is a call to live faithfully in a culture that does not share many of those beliefs and to learn to engage the culture with the gospel. After all, eternity hangs on the truthfulness of the gospel, not the extent the government subsidizes school lunch programs. As the divisions between positions seems to grow more severe, Sauls has some helpful suggestions for learning to be Christian in a changing world.

The potential weakness of the volume is that it does not convey fully the difficulty in living this program out. It requires giving space to bad ideas, some of which are truly harmful. It requires being exceedingly patient with destructive activities and having a willingness to help people through the consequences of their own choices, which are often completely avoidable. These things are relatively easy to consider in print, but are much more difficult to enact in real life. It requires a great deal of mental and spiritual preparation. There is a high cost which must be counted to live as Sauls recommends.

All in all, this is a worthy volume at a time when it is needed. It encourages neither triumphalism nor defeatism, but faithful participation in the world. It seems, however, that something like what Sauls recommends will be necessary if the church is to have an impact in the United States in the coming decades.

Jesus Outside the Lines: A Way Forward for Those Who Are Tired of Taking Sides

$11.69

By Scott Sauls

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Note: A gratis copy of this volume was provided by the publisher with no expectation of a positive review.